into-the-blue.com

Some of you in my vast audience of, umm, 3 readers may recall that I decided to get a new car - my fun new Audi S4 gas guzzler. Some of you may also remember that the light of my life is a tree-hugging environmentalist who forswears any form of gasoline-powered transport in favor of her 65mpg Honda Insight. My little sweetheart is very vocal about how bad other cars are and how wonderful her Insight is because it is so fuel efficient and fun to drive. It was bad enough that my previous car - a Volkswagen GTI - got about 24mpg, but if she knew what my new wheels gets, Kerry would probably be a little critical thereof. So I’m just not going to tell her. Unless, of course, she threatens me with severe bodily harm. Then of course I’ll cave like the whimpering little baby I am.

Not too long ago, the Insight decided that it was time to start misbehaving slightly and that it wanted to go visit its friends at the Honda Service Center. Since I still have the GTI (btw: anyone interested in a GTI should contact me), Ms. Greenpeace asked if she could use it this week while her Insight was being repaired. Naturally I said “Sure honey, no problem. Anything for you”. And that’s where the slide into darkness began …

This morning I had the following IM conversation:

Kerry:I have a new cure for crankiness
Me:Yeah?
Kerry:Driving a VW GTI 2.8l
Kerry:Heated seats
Kerry:Speed!!
Me:Overtake anyone?
Kerry:Yeah …
Kerry:
Me:zip in and out of traffic much?
Kerry:A little
Kerry:Beat a Lexus
Kerry:a BMW
Kerry:a stupid truck - F150
Kerry:Did the drive in about 5 minutes less
Kerry:It was fun
Kerry:The car is smooth
Kerry:The Insight is NOT smooth

Not satisfied with that little experience in the car, our newly anointed F1 driver decided to do battle with cars on the way home as well. Getting home, the first thing she said to me was something like “There was this fucktard in a Buick on the way home that was tailgating me going into the tollbooth. So just after going through it, I downshifted and floored it and pulled like 800 meters on him almost immediately. That car is FUN! Oh, and then he tried to follow me for most of the way home, but he couldn’t keep up.”

Welcome to the dark side of driving, sweetheart